I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
