The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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