carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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