i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
