I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize