ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
