After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
