You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
