scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
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