We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Your cock deserves a montage
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
