I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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