Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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