Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
