The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
