where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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