At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
