god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
