Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
