I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
