Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
