I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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