Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
