She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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