I molested 6 butterflies tonight
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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