Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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