I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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