Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
