if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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