You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
