Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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