It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
