I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
