I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
