I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize