You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
