He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Randomize
