Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
