I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize