none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
