she looked like the before picture.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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