For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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