Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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