Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
