Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize