Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
