I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
