I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
