Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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