I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
