im about as happy as oj after his trial
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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