you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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