Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
