I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
