I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
