Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I came so hard my ears popped.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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