anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
