I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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