Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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