No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
