I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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