You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
