She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
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