I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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