Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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