he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
