Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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